Poor dialogue creates conflict and disputes
We have all experienced it in everyday life: how a small disagreement can turn into a major quarrel when we start to discuss it. Or how an issue is so difficult to discuss that we simply don’t talk about it. For many of us, a lack of dialogue has major consequences.
In a survey conducted by the Nobel Peace Center in the spring of 2021, almost half of those asked answered that they have lost friends and family as a result of a lack of good dialogue. And 64 percent have experienced that a disagreement turned into a conflict. The survey also indicates that our fear that a conflict will arise makes us hold back in discussions with our close relatives. And six out of ten answered that they have chosen not to discuss difficult topics with someone close to them, because it would be unpleasant or difficult.
Eight tips for good dialogue
"The findings of the survey indicate that people need better knowledge about how to talk to close relatives about difficult topics," says marketing and communications manager Kim Reksten Grønneberg at the Nobel Peace Center.
"In fact, half of the respondents say that they want tips for better dialogue. Therefore it is natural to ask some of the world's foremost experts on the subject, namely the Peace Prize laureates."
Together with dialogue expert Chro Borhan, the Nobel Peace Center has collected eight tips for good dialogue from the winners of the Nobel Peace Prize (NB! Only available in Norwegian at the moment). The book Those who listen, move the world is intended as a manual for anyone who wants a better understanding of dialogue and who needs tips and advice on how to communicate with their close relatives.
We must learn to master dialogue
"I'm not surprised that so many people hold back from discussing difficult things with friends and family," says Chro Borhan. "We simply have too little knowledge about how to create good dialogue, especially with close relatives, as that involves more emotions. Competitive debates and discussions, where the goal is to promote your own views, are much more common in the public arena than dialogue is.”
At the same time as our knowledge about dialogue is too little, the need for it has increased, says Borhan. She believes that, since we live in a diverse society where more and more people participate in the public debate, we must learn to master dialogue in order to solve the challenges we face.
"Actually, we should not be afraid of conflicts. Through good dialogue with people we disagree with, we can help create mutual understanding, respect and positive change."
About the survey
The survey was conducted by the research institute YouGov on behalf of the Nobel Peace Center. In the period 12-22 March, a total of 1023 interviews were conducted with people over the age of 16 in Oslo and the surrounding municipalities.
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